*spoiler free review*
So you want to make an anime?
Hey there, sport! I see you're just itchin to make yourself your very own anime! Well luckily it's 2018, and you, yes you, have the power to make your very own. You've had no experience? Don't worry! We've built you a perfect model called Evil or Live that will help you succeed at making the perfect anime.
Like any good anime, yours should start with its foundation, the story. Stories are tough, and hard to come up with, so first tie a few words to a dart board and write down whatever you hit. Tyrrany, Bullying, BDSM, Backstories, Fanservice, Internet, Prison, parody? Throw parody away, because this is a serious anime. The rest sound like fuckin gold to me! Be sure to throw those in at random places in your script to make your viewer alienated, as well as constructing themes that absolutely no one can relate to.
The actual narrative is the tough part. But I'll let you in on a little secret since it's your first time, buckaroo: just find a barnyard, sit under a random animal and write down whatever comes to mind! Be sure to use your keywords and make the dialogue cringey as possible. Now you have your beautiful story! Shoddily scrap that thing together and make sure to not resolve anything by the end and completely disregard any continuity.
But slow down there sport, no anime story is complete without cool relatable deep insufferable characters. Keep 'em edgy and gross, give them annoying voices and a grand total of zero character growth until the very end. The MC should be base level. Start him out as a Wimp and then randomly become an edgy anti hero for no reason and contribute anything to the actual story or world. Add as many inconsequential characters as possible so that you can say you have a "diverse cast."
Now wait a minute, you say. Isn't an anime supposed to have animation?! Well of course, you dimwitted asshole, but that's optional! A good anime will have some degree of animation. What's that? Your budget is only 93¢? Don't worry! There are plenty of free open source programs to choose from, and your animation skills don't need to be up to par to make a successful anime.
Now that you have your knockoff bootleg adobe flash crack copy from your korean cousin up and running on your now smoking computer, it's time to get those techniques down. Always observe physics in a dreamlike environment, and make the movements of the characters and objects as unrealistic as possible. A floating rock makes no sense? Screw that, this is your art. And no one can tell you how things work in YOUR world!
It's going to be bland without a soundtrack, so since there are thousands of sfx to download, choose only 3 and sprinkle them out through the whole show. Once you're done, you can pick up some extra ctrl, c, and v keys from your local department store. Doesn't matter if the theme songs don't fit the anime, remember: this is art. It doesn't have to make sense.
Wait, it's not done yet! How are you going to get people to stick with your anime, if you don't have Fanservice? that's right, put the boobs in there and add those butts. Doesn't matter if its actually attractive or makes sense in the story, it's fanservice and you've just GOTTA have it.
And that's it, export that in movie maker at a low framerate, run that thing under a shitty film grain filter and you've just created your very first anime! I hope you're proud of yourself. It's like a wise man once said: With a bunch of bullshit - and a little bdsm, you can make your dreams come true!